


Theories of Unlikely Love

by Creed Cascade (creedcascade)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Geek Love, Humor, M/M, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-10
Updated: 2011-11-10
Packaged: 2017-10-25 21:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/275144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creedcascade/pseuds/Creed%20Cascade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney is contemplating the rules of attraction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Theories of Unlikely Love

Rodney looked up to see one of the Marines giving his Mars bar to one of the homely research assistants he didn’t remember or care to remember. The woman was mouse like, with big bookish glasses and a frizzy hair pulled back in a lopsided ponytail. Rodney thought she had a striking resemblance to Madame Curie, but the Marine was looking at her like she was a curvaceous blonde bimbo.

Rodney kicked John under the table to get his attention. John had been poking his fork at some sort of dubious grey mush. “What?”

Rodney nodded his head towards the table where the wannabe Madame Currie was giggling. “Do you see that Jarhead mooning over one of my female minions?”

“Um, yeah.”

Rodney kicked him again when John just poked at the grey mush. “So?”

John kicked him back. “What is your problem, Rodney? Even your minions have to eat and socialize. Give them a few minutes before you crack the whip and send her back into whatever hole she crawled out of.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Though when he did look around, there were quite a few scientists eating and drinking coffee when they could be working. He would have to send out an email with the appropriate reminders that workloads were under his discretion. “I’m talking about the fact that he is clearly out of her league.”

John loaded some of the grey mush onto his fork and with a sigh, put it into his mouth and swallowed as quickly as possible. “Huh, no taste.”

“See, you agree with me then. The man has no taste.”

“No, I was talking about this…” John pointed at the mush. “Whatever it is.” He looked up at the couple. “Who cares if he’s chasing after her? Does it bother you?”

“No,” Rodney huffed. “But I think it proves a theory I’ve been contemplating.”

John tried to steal something more recognizable from Rodney’s plate but the other man stopped his efforts by smacking the back of John’s hand with his fork.

“Ow,” John said and shook his hand. “It’s dangerous when you contemplate things.”

“Leave my disgusting food alone. Eat your own.” Rodney scowled down at his plate and then pushed it towards John who was still eying it. “On second thought, have at it. It’s making me sick. I’m just saying that those two are only one among an increasing numbers of unlikely couples I’ve noticed in Atlantis. I’m thinking that the close quarters and limitation of the gene pool means people are altering potential mate selection.”

John happily started to eat the purple crunchy things from Rodney’s plate. He raised an eyebrow and smirked at Rodney, “So, what you’re saying is that people are lowering their standards? Like me?”

“Ha ha. You just have good taste.”

“What are you degrading yourself now by actually contemplating the soft sciences?” John asked with a derisive snort. “Under the circumstances and since we seem to contemplating social science theories… maybe I’m suffering from Stockholm syndrome.”

Rodney grabbed his plate and drew it back to his side of the table just for that remark. “Well, if you want to talk about us, then yes… yes, we prove my theory.” He waved his hand absently between John and himself. “You’re not my type.”

“Uh huh.” John just went back to eating the mush from his own plate. “I’m breathing, I thought that was your type.”

“I’m not gay.”

“No, you’re desperate.”

Now Rodney pulled away John’s plate. “You’re just insulted yourself.”

John shrugged his shoulders and smiled back at Rodney. His fork was gripped in his hand dangerously inching towards the other side of the table. Rodney couldn’t guard both plates. “Apparently, I’m not picky. Maybe you’re right, Atlantis is sending out some strange vibe to make military men seek out geeks against their own free will.”

Rodney picked up one plate and used his fork to scrap the grey mush onto the purple crunchy things, hoping to make them complete unappetizing. The resulting mauve mess made his stomach churn. “And maybe Atlantis is producing some mind altering electromagnetic radiation that is targeting the brilliant minds of scientists to brainwash them into settling for knuckle dragging soldiers.”

John made a curious noise in the back of his throat. “You may have something there, Rodney. You should talk to Elizabeth about that. She could write a memo about illicit and unnatural fraternization.” His hand darted out and scooped up the mauve concoction. He made another curious noise while he was chewing it and spoke with a full mouth. “Not bad. I’ll have to try this again.”

Rodney pushed his chair away and stood up, flinging his arms in the air. “Oh my God, that’s disgusting! I don’t know why I eat with you.”

John ate another heaping fork full. “Needs ketchup.”

“Why do I even both to put up with you?”

“Electromagnetic radiation?”

Instead of saying goodbye, Rodney just shouted at John, “I’m going back to my lab!”

He left grumbling rather loudly about a long list of John’s faults and mental instability. John just shook his head, smiled and kept eating. He would track down Rodney later just to aggravate him and pull him away from whatever work he was doing to get some sort of sleep.

The still ranting Rodney stalked past the wannabe Madame Currie and Marine. He snapped at her, “Get back to work!” and kept on his way.

When he was out of earshot the Marine leaned over and whispered to her, “Sheppard and McKay? That’s a strange pair. I guess opposites attract.”

“Like protons and electrons. Which can lead to a build up of energy and…”

“Boom?”

The wannabe Madame Currie patted the Marine’s hand and smiled at him. “Yes, boom. That’s why the scientists have a pool to see who’s going to kill who first. My money’s on Sheppard.”

END.


End file.
